Academics and chaff

Urg. Two tart emails from people I don't really respect anyway. Why do the emails still put a damper on my afternoon? One about replies to a thread someone started about lesson planning and one from a teacher who didn't realize I was asking for a letter of recommendation (due Tues) in the email I sent three full weeks ago. Thanks. Flake.

I should not really care; but it just reinforces that I really am not sure about the whole professor profession once I am finished graduating. So many (definitely not ALL but a good deal) tend to be so flaky. Not in an endearing, "nutty genius" sort of way, either. Usually in a smug, jerk sort of way that makes you feel dumb for asking them to do something for you, when it is really actually their job to conduct a teaching evaluation on you. 

Anyway, there are a lot of tactful reminder emails that I have to send around, constantly, and for some reason I feel like the dolt instead of the person who flaked on actually answering the initial questions (responding to an email is a nice thing to do). I wonder why that is. Why do I let the chaff bother me?


Either way, I don't want to be like that once I am done with school. I would love to keep teaching; I absolutely love the students, but it is like I want to do it in an isolated bubble of my students, myself, and my community (not university) and not deal with all the waste. I just don't want to be a part of that group I find to be so....unlikeable. Just read one page of comments on the Chronicle of Higher Education if you want an example. It is so high school.

I read an article today about parenting and the changes that take place in your personality (I was curious!), and one of the items that struck me was that you no longer cared about stupid stuff like my above irritation. You just let it roll off you. You have other things to think about, I guess. Well, I have other things to think about, too! Like scholarship applications that are due on Tuesday. A fellowship application. An article draft. A second article draft. Lesson planning for Tuesdsay. My teaching observation this week!

I guess what I am saying is I wish I could just fast forward to that part in life where you don't care so much about terse/ignorant emails or little things that really don't mean anything. I wish I could do it now, without the child part. Lol. Is there some hormonal concentrate I can take for this? Give it to me! I want to stop caring about the things that don't matter.

I guess realizing they don't matter is the first step. Long journey though. It's already been 32 years!